Valentine’s Day is often seen as either a happy occasion if you’re with someone special, or for a sad day if you are ‘unmatched.’ We’d like to suggest a more holistic way of viewing connection, love, and sexuality to help make the day and this time of year one in which everyone can celebrate. We’ll also explore how our sensual selves are vital to our overall wellbeing, and how to support them.
Stay Connected
We humans thrive on connection: it’s critical to our development and health from the time we are born, and studies have borne out its importance to our wellbeing throughout our lives. Our hearts, brains, and immune systems are all wired to work the best when we are in regular contact with others. From playing with our pets to checking in with the neighbors, small regular interactions can help keep loneliness at bay.
Love Keeps You Healthy
At this time of year, we’re inundated with hearts, flowers, and reels of public marriage proposals, but that’s just a narrow slice of how we experience love. Our Beloveds may include family (all kinds), pets, friends, and the earth itself, as well as our partner. As commonly as the concept of love is commodified (buy that candy/lingerie/diamond jewelry) and digitized (spicy clickbait or sentimental slop), our hearts, bodies, and minds are only nourished by what is felt and real. Who and what we cherish, tend, and give our attention to largely defines our emotional and mental wellbeing, which have direct impacts upon the health of our hearts and nervous systems.
Pleasure Can Be Medicine
We’re often given mixed messages about pleasure: it’s either shameful or something to pursue to exhaustion. Actually, true pleasure can be very good for all of you. Whether it’s sharing physical intimacy with another, savoring a perfectly ripe peach, petting a furry friend, having a heart-to-heart with a friend or finding that perfect beach rock, deeply experiencing being in a body is good medicine. When you slow down, pay attention, and allow yourself to be immersed in what your senses are bringing you in the moment, you are not only making your life richer, but you also are investing in the health of your whole body, including the resilience of your immune system.
The Spicy and The Sweet
Healthy sexuality and physical intimacy can be some of the most gratifying of human experiences. Touch and skin-to-skin contact offer proven boosts to our health, so all positive experiences in the range of intimacy are of value. Physical attraction often initiates connection, but open communication and a willingness to keep learning what thrills your partner are vital to keeping things between you both hot and sweet. This applies to your individual sexuality as well: solo explorations can be as good (and fun) for you as those with a partner.
Herbal Allies for Intimacy
Good sexual response is a marker of overall vitality, dependent upon factors like the quality of your sleep and diet, good stress management, and healthy circulation.The plant world offers some potent allies to support sexual wellness, adaptogens which also promote a healthy stress response and immune resilience. (The following herbs are often framed in gender-specific ways, but they can be appropriate for all bodies.)
- Ashwagandha’s chemical constituents act as hormone precursors which your body can use for your specific needs. It has been shown to support healthy libido and stamina in both men and women, as well as boosting male fertility.
- Shatavari is known for its ability to help regulate female hormones, as well as supporting the sensitivity, integrity and lubrication of a woman’s tissues. It can also support healthy fertility in both women and men.
- Considered to be an aphrodisiac in Ayurveda, shilajit is a mineral pitch found in the Himalayas which is high in fulvic acid and essential trace minerals. Studies have shown its ability to support healthy testosterone levels in both men and women, encouraging both libido and overall reproductive health.
Enjoy It All
So whether you’re partnered or flying solo, there are so many ways to support and relish your loving, sexual, and sensual selves. Whether you’re enjoying a steamy physical encounter, a really good belly laugh, or the delicate scent of roadside flowers, nourishing and being present in your body will keep your life both sweet and spicy.